shortly after I posted my last post I got a call to go out... Kick ass... im gonna drink with people!!

.............(I combed my hair!!!)...................
Tomorrow is the only morning that ill have off of work for a week. Now that im working full time I have little time to do much so nights before a morning off are my nights to have fun. So what am I doing tonight? drinking... alone... in my room... but I am listening to music and I may put in a movie later; exciting I know...

I call up people, and no one answers their phones... Those who do are busy or out of town. So on my one night; here I sit....

I had to shut my computer off have way thought the day today because it was making me sick. I was in a totally shitty mood and sitting at a computer wasn't helping me at all. Im not sure why I was so down... Maybe because it was a shitty day outside, or maybe its because iv been seeing things I don't want to. (figuratively speaking)

Tonight, Trevor, my boss's 4 year-old son, brought out a cup of ice cream for me half way though working... It was the nicest thing someone had done for me in months. The kid is like my little brother; iv known him before he could even talk. And now that he's 4 (almost 5) he talks far far too much!

My back was killing me at work this morning; im not looking forward to going back to work tonight... Right now im watching Memoirs of a Geisha because Gift rented it and said it was really good; we'll see about that. Im 15 minutes into and and I already like it. The lighting is wonderful.

Tomorrow will be the last morning that ill see sunlight on my way to work for months. Damn day light savings time!! I love it when the sun is coming up on my way to work... It makes 5 in the morning seem less early. cement blocks grow in the wild where I live.

.......Back to the movie.

So I was in the shower after work this morning, lathering up my sex young yet masculine body, and I got to thinking: "My life is kind of shitty."

• I have no direction.
• I have very little social life because most of the people I considered friends in high school moved away (except you Kindra, you still rock!).
• *edit*
  
• I share a room with my older brother because we each refuse to give up the awesome room.
• I haven't had a sexy weekend in MONTHS!! And the last one I DID have I was way to drunk to even enjoy it.
  

After I got out to the shower and dried off my manly figure I got to thinking again: "My life isn't that bad."

• Im young, I have time to get direction.
• I have little social life by choice because most of the people around here annoy me, so I don't really care that much.
  
• *edit*
  
• I look up to my brother and he's my friend, besides he spends most of his weekends with Andrea in LAX.
• Iv been passing up sexy weekends in fear of repeating the past, so its a choice. And masturbation isn't all that bad.

I just got a gmail account. ShaZ, being as awesome as she is, invited me. So now everyone should email me at the.natej@gmail.com
Right now its really warm out and sunny. Where am I? Im sitting at my computer in my cold basement bedroom. Maybe later ill go walk around with a camera again; but im feeling totally lazy today.
Lastnight I didn't have a beer. I went with a "Mike's Hard Berry"; that shit is like drinking kool-aid and if I had enough of it I would probably develop a drinking problem. Fortunately for me it costs a lot more than beer so I cant afford a lot of it. I only get it because when I have ladies over they don't always wanna drink beer, but no one will turn down a Mike's!!
I watched Crash yesterday. It kind of depressed me. Not that it was a bad movie; I thought it was really good. But never-the-less depressing. Kinda like how I felt after watching Requiem for a Dream. Crash is pretty much all about racism; and racism totally pisses me off. I cant stand people who "race hate". I felt so bad after watching it that I wanted to do something nice... so I washed the dishes; it helped.

The Laundromat was a great time... I sat and listened to Bright Eyes for half an hour. About half way though my laundry adventure I got to thinking... There are 18 washing machines in this place. So why did I choose the one that I did? For some reason this question bugged me. Out of all the machines I could have put my work clothes in I choose one, but why that one? Was it the location in comparison to the door? Or did I just have a good feeling about that one? I couldn't figure it out... They were all the same; how did I choose? THEN I got to thinking: "Why the fuck does it even matter?"... For some reason; it did. I think my philosophy class is fucking with my head.

I just shaved for the first time in 5 days. Not that it really mattered because I don't grow much facial hair to begin with. But it is starting to come in. (I dream...)

Today ill have to make a trip to the Laundromat... Why? Because im not "allowed" to put my work clothes in the new washing machine. Total bullshit. Also I have to stop putting off writing my psych paper. Iv been procrastinating a lot when it comes to that. im usually either too tired or to horny to start anything. What does being horny have to do with it you may ask? Nothing really im just putting it out there...
Last night's beer tasted the same as Monday night's beer. But no popcorn. I feel like now that im home during the day im eating too much and sleeping too much. Im like a cat; a lazy, useless cat. In an effort to do something productive and charitable im going to donate some blood platelets. The area blood center has been on my ass for months now... calling and what-not. They're like fucking vampires wanting to suck my life away; so im going to give in and ensure that I don't get anymore calls for at least a month.

I just made the most bitchin' pancakes and hash browns. I kick ass!

Last night I went to the porn store again. It's always fun! I especially like reading the titles of the porn. "Squirting Grannies", "Ass Lickers vol. 37", "Bi Bi billiards", and my personal favorite "Down the Hatch, In the Snatch".
For my spring break iv decided that im going to drink EVERY DAY! This doesn't mean that im going to get drunk, not at all. It only means that ill have at least one alcoholic drink every day this week. Before anyone judges me and starts calling me an "alcoholic", "lush", or even a "drunkard"; you should all know this it has been PROVEN (I think) that small amounts of alcohol are actually good for a person. Unless that person is pregnet of course...

...but anyways iv decided to do this because im in college and my spring break is going to be totally lame. So why not??

I got off my ass...

On my walk I came across an old couch graveyard... It was in the middle of no where and really eerie. There were about 8 old couches along with other unusual things.

Its half way into my first day of spring break and im already bored outa my fucking mind!

For the last few months jakes copy of the Back to the Future trilogy was up in LAX at Andrea's apartment. He brought it back with him yesterday and now I find that he left Back to the Future 2 up there!!! DAMNIT!!! That's the one I want to watch right now. So im fucking pissed off... I probably did it on purpose too... bastard.

Tonight is the only night that ill have off work probably for my whole break... and I have nothing to do! I don't just wanna sit around. I always could drink, but there is no one to drink with. Drinking alone gets old quick and iv found that its tougher to keep on drinking without the motivation of friends by your side.

As much as I dislike people I love gatherings... Ironic; I know.

There will likely be a lot of posts this week due to the lack of anything else to do. I think if its nice out ill go for a walk and take some pictures... Then again I say that pretty much every day and I always just end up falling asleep or watching DVD's. Yes that's right, im a lazy bastard...

Trying to do anything with your non-dominate hand is very tricky. Even when it comes to masturbation. And this isn't just true for me. Iv talked with many people on the subject and most all of them agree that pleasuring oneself with a non-dominate hand is much more difficult than the easy of using the dominate one.

Years ago I developed a slight problem in my right shoulder. Well it wasn't too 'slight', it hurt like a mother fucker! It was a pinched nerve that resulted from working out after school. (I was working some muscles more than others and shit got fucked up). Anyways this put a wedge in my "me time". I did wanna use my right hand anymore in fear that it would only worsen my shoulder problem. I had no choice but to switch to using my left hand.

If you've never tried masturbating with your non-dominate hand; try it! Its much different. Its like batting righty then one day trying to bat on the left. There is a lot less coordination and its just difficult. But only at first; with practice it can be done. This went on for about 3 weeks, and by the end of it I had grow used to using my left.

After weeks in physical therapy my right shoulder was no longer fucked up and I could go back to masturbating like normal people...

... I learned a lot from this little ordeal. That with practice it IS possible to utilize a non-dominate appendage for a greater good.

(photo by Katrina)

The best way to describe my night last night was "sleep". I went out and got my usual at the chinese place then came back here to eat it. it was so fucking good I pissed myself! After I was done eating and finished watching "Signs" I decided to have a beer; so I did. In about 30 seconds from opening it... it was gone. At this point in the night I realized how fucking exhausted I was from my unexpected work load and late night drinking the previous day... So I lied down and passed out.

Around 11:30 I woke up to my phone blowing-up; it was Jake and Andrea:

Jake - "Hey what's up buddy?"

Nate - "Im resting... Its been a long day."

Jake - "Oh yea? Did you get any puss (pussy) this weekend?"

Nate - "Nope..."

Andrea - "ugh... you pussy..."

So I talked to them for a little bit then fell back asleep for another four hours. 3 o'clock this morning I woke up. My eyes were all fucked up from sleeping with my contacts in. They felt all slimy and gross... I kinda like it...

Im feeling like going out for some chinese tonight.

Sitting at school the other day I got a message on msn from who else but that girl who I hooked up with very early last summer. The one who I invited to a party but she hook up with some other guy... yea that one. I know I wrote about it here once, but im not feeling like looking for where it is... Anyways I talked to her for a while and she's back living in town; not that this is any real concern to me but now I know of someone else I can call up with im bored.

I still haven't decided if I want to get drunk tonight... ok, well yes I do.

While I was hanging out with Amber last night her newly exboyfriend called her up twice and I couldn't help but yell shit out about how he is a redneck KKK member while they talked. I kinda hope he was pissed that she was with me. Iv never liked the guy. I went to high school with him. He was a grade ahead of me. He was a total redneck and I remember one time when the hicks had a problem with the ONE black kid in our school, he and the others came to school flying confederate flags from their hick-trucks and putting on there own little hate parade. This is one thing that I just couldn't fucking stand... fucking bastards.

im off to the chinese place... Wont you take me to funkytown?

despite having to get up for work in the morning I got trashed last night with Amber. Others were supposed to come over, but shit happens I guess... and SOME people are just being totally LAME!!

details of the night are kinda fuzzy. Amber didn't get over until late because she had to work; and once she got here I was already pretty drunk so she had to take vodka shots to catch up to me. We watched Blow... Well it was put in, but I wasn't in the mood to stare at a TV.

I introduced her to Gift: "Gift; this is some-girl-who-dumped-my-ass-out-of-no-where-over-a-year-ago." I was the only one who found it funny... HAHA!

This morning I didn't wake up to my alarm clock... Or my cell phone alarm. Thus I was an hour late to work and I showed up still a little fucked up. My boss doesn't really care just as long as I don't show up like that everyday. But I can really guarantee that because im on spring break now and I still have A LOT of booze and beer leftover.

fourty blocks is on the fucking rise!! and there are still a lot of shares to be bought! so get off your ass and buy some! NOW!!!

At work this morning I found out the the other kid who worked up and quit... Just like that. This is a bit inconvenient for me. This other kid worked so that I would have a little free time here and there and not have to work every single day... Now where am I? Im stuck with the whole work load. Its not that bad, I did it for two years in high school. But for the last 7 months or so iv only been part time and iv gotten very used to it. I party now, I drink now, I go out on the weekends and forget where I am... I don't wanna give that up.

So im not going to... Ill still go do all those things and just go to work totally tired and hungover. Iv done it before, I can do it again...

The only plus side to this is that ill be pulling in an extra $400 - $500 a month! So now ill be able to buy all the shit I couldn't until now... Like a new camera and a laptop and strippers and coke... yay!

Am I in for a good weekend? I sure hope so!! Having a fun drunk weekend will be a great way to jump start my spring break. A sexy weekend would be much better... I didn't pick up any jagermeister; im a poor college man damnit I can afford that shit!

What's pictured isn't all of it...

oh right, I remember now.... I had a philosophy exam today and was fucking tired as hell! I have to quit staying up so late, but I wont.

I feel like being late to class today and drawing a lot of attention to myself... Maybe ill trip or something then come out of it with a witty comment like "shit! My bad!"

as much as I would like to write a post with some sort of meaning to it like some that I have been reading, I just don't have that fire in me.... Not today at least. There is tons of shit id like to vent about and whatever, but that will have to come later.

transferring my not happen this next semester unfortunately... Iv waited too long; I don't really care though.

wont you take me to funkytown?

Im so goddamn bored right now that's its actually starting to piss me off a little! There is no one logged onto buzznet, no one I want to talk to on msn, and iv been looking for some interesting blogs from Wisconsin and im the only one... FUCK!#$%!R%$#!!!!!

A friend just texted me telling me to get some jagermeister for this weekend... Sounds like a plan to me. Im supposed to be having a few people over to drink this weekend but im feeling really antisocial right now and don't know if I want to... I may just lie and say im sick then drink alone.

oh... And Kindra, if your reading this, and I know you are... you should come by this weekend too and drink if I do have people over because I never see you anymore... And a life without Kindra isn't much of a life now is it? (ill be sure to let you know)

Some people have been blowing me off lately, why? I don't know... Most likely because bla bla bla... Jake put it like this: "Nate, if a person likes you then they find time to be with you." he makes a good point. But whatever...

I had more shit to say but I cant remember what it was...

The weather was amazing today when I got out of class... I was pissed that I had to work.

Tomorrow I have a philosophy test on ethics... I cant wait for that shit to be done with. Our professor has been pissing Amber off with his abortion talk and his views in general. But I know he's just doing it to get a rise out the the class.

I got my cell phone bill and it turns out that calling people in Canada isn't covered in my plan... Oh well, it doesn't cost that much anyways and its worth it.

Dave and I occasionally sit in the computer lab and message each other when a good looking girl walks in...

nate says:
she's gotta have a boyfriend

³ Dåve ³ says:
idk, maybe

nate says:
otherwise she'd be all over me!

³ Dåve ³ says:
lol

³ Dåve ³ says:
shit cant argue with that

nate says:
i know!

³ Dåve ³ says:
thats a good theory for all the ladies

nate says:
totally... they are either taken or they want me

³ Dåve ³ says:
yeah..to bad their all taken

nate says:
i know... weird...

³ Dåve ³ says:
lol

wont you take me to.... funkytown?

I made french toast for dinner tonight... It was easier than making pancakes.

My walk last night did produce as many pictures as I would have liked. It was to dark by the time I left and the flash wasn't helping my much for the shots I was trying to get... But there were a few good ones. I took a walk along the river in the woods and came up to the far side of a graveyard and walked though that for a while until I got to the road... It was kinda creepy being dark and all...
It was so fucking cold out too; I didn't think it was going to be as bad as it was. My hands went numb, which added to the lack of pictures that I took.

Jake and Brad were doing some recording for the demo last night when I got back. In the middle of Jake recording a harmonica track I yelled out "HEY!! CSI MIAMI IS ON TONIGHT!" I thought it was hilarious, but Jake was pissed that I fucked up the track... "That was the point," I said.

I feel like going crazy... Not 'ill cut someone crazy', but more 'go out, party, and do fuck-up things crazy'

Damn I was so drained today. I didn't have any caffeine pills...

Im gonna go on a walk and try to get some new picture or random shit. That or sleep... Either way ill have a good time.

iv noticed that im no longer bothered with the computer labs being full of people.

while most people do annoy me to a point, iv gotten used to it.

This morning with I got home from work and out of the shower I was greeted with a message from 'moment'; some one who I really enjoy talking with. She is yet another Canadian I would enjoy meeting. While I do know her name, I still refer to her as 'moment', im not sure why...

Iv also been talking with a friend from Ireland, who I just call 'girl' (and yes, I know she has a name, but again, im odd and don't use real names). I talk with her on buzznet mostly; she is one of the most enjoyable people to talk to.

I sometimes feel like a total loser talking to people on the internet, but then again... I am a loser, so I guess I don't feel all that weird about it. I enjoy the sense of culture it brings me to talk to people from different counties.

This weekend was as good as the last one, but it also wasn't too bad. I didn't get to hang out with Rachel Saturday night for one reason or another, and the other person was supposed to get drunk with had to babysit... So I was shit out of luck. I know there were other people I could have called up, but I was tired out from the night before and just wanted to pass out.

Iv started writing some songs. After putting it off for some time now I decided to get off my ass, sit down and get to work. Because I have numerous guitars laying around and access to some professional recording gear its coming along quite well. There has been a lot of shit on my mind lately and im able to get it all out...

Gift kicks ass! What more could I say? We were at Kohls yesterday and I pointed her in the direction of some pink boots and she went insane! It sucks to know that she's going to be leaving...
Now that Clay has his license I make him drive me to BD so I can get DVD's... Even though he almost got us in an accident that would have KILLED ME, I let him drive... Cause im just cool like that. I bought South Park season 5... Only because they did have Gilligan's Island season 2; im such a loser.

I can't get on Buzznet for some reason... im pissed.

Last night's little get together started out kind of rough. Earlier in the evening, being the good brother I am, I treated Jake and Clay to dinner at a bar outside of town. It was to celebrate me totally owning my car and Clay getting his drivers license. Jake just came because I said it was on me...
...I ate way too much fish and ended up feeling a little shitty. Regardless, I called up Amber to come and have a drink. Jake and Brad joined to.

Jake has been hassling me to call up this one girl who came by a couple weeks ago.
Here is his argument: "NATE!! She is a hot college girl who likes to drink and you could totally have sex with! What the FUCK is your problem?? Give me your phone; if you don't have the balls to call her; Ill call her for you!"

Eventually Jake got my phone away from me and called her over. She showed up with some friends which made my get together a little more fun. But she didn't drink or have sex with me... yet. She wants to hang out tonight, but iv already made plans with my friend Rachel. Not sexy plans...

The ladies have been all over me lately... weird. HAHA

I wish I had some real-life blog friends to hang out and get fucked up with... but im pretty much the only one in the whole fucking state!!!!!

I went to my college's version of a guidance councilor today after class to find out what I need to do to transfer to UW-LC for this next fall semester. Because im going about this kind of late in the game it's going to take some work, but he said its possible. Unfortunately I may need to take some summer classes...

calc was cancelled today! KICK ASS!!!

I just made my last car payment. Its about fucking time I got that shit all paid off... Now I can spend that extra $100+ per month on important things like CD's and DVD's.

patty

Happy St. Patrick's Day all... Especially if your Irish. I don't actually know to much about today other than im supposed to drink green beer and eat cabbage. I think im part Irish, on my dad's side, but who really knows...

I may have insomnia... I haven't been sleeping much lately and don't really know why. Jake says that the caffeine pills iv been taking are fucking up my body. But I didn't have any past 1 yesterday afternoon... Though I did have 3 pills before that. I was wired in psych.

My friend Amber skipped our philosophy class yesterday so I had to give her my notes. I talked to her for a while about the guy she's doing stuff with and called her a 'hussy'... She was offended until I told her what it meant.

I went out to dinner last night with Jake, Andrea, and my dad. I was kind of grossed out by the fish I got, but I ate it anyways, im not picky. I think it was called 'shmelt' or something like that. Anyways it's small fish with their head cut off and gutted. Other than that there is really nothing else done to them besides getting cooked. You're supposed to eat the fins, bones, scales all that shit... But because they are so small I didn't really notice.

The new thing for Jake and Andrea to say to me is: "See Nate, that's why you don't have a girlfriend." This was said maybe a total of 30 time in the hour we were all together... Even I was saying it by the time we were all done eating.

Living in LAX with these two will be interesting. If it does happen, Andrea wont really be living with us, but they will most likely be the people I see the most.

Iv made the switch from boxer-briefs to plain boxers to give my manhood a little more freedom.

While the rest of my calculus class was learning how to find the derivatives of exponential logarithmic functions I was playing Block Dude on my calculator... The assignment she was trying to teach everyone how to do took me about 10 minutes. Am I bragging? Sure; im not good at much, but this stuff I can do... Though I shouldn't and don't feel too proud of myself. Most of the class is people who have been out of school for a while and haven't had a math class in years, while iv had math for many consecutive years.

Iv been having vivid day dreams lately. They seem to come out of no where, dont last long, and almost feel like a flash back. I snap out of them with my heart racing and I can almost feel what happened.

Last night I went to been in a really shitty mood only to wake up this morning in an equally shitty mood. I go to bed with a thought on my mind and when I get up the thought seems to continue where it left off...

Iv been using buzznet more and more and myspace much less then I used to. Buzznet just seems more... I dont know; mature? but not in a "mature videos XXX" kind of way.

I dont know...

My car is littered with Trident wrappers.

I got to class just before 11 yesterday afternoon only to learn that class was cancelled... While some people would be happy about this, I was pissed! I didn't have another class until about 2:30, and I didn't wanna drink home because its a waste of time and gas...

Law and Order: SVU was a rerun tonight...

Im tired, yet I don't want to sleep. Hungry, but I don't want to eat...

(*edit* it should say 'drive'... not 'drink' myself home. (thanks for catching that Kat...))

I didn't do the paper interview today... Why? im not sure really...

I think my caffeine pills are curbing my appetite.

Thursday Jake asked if I wanted to move to La Cross (LAX) with him in August... He's putting off leaving for the west coast (Seattle) until Andrea is finished with college; so that's at least one more year. Iv thought about going to UW-LC since I graduated high school. It was in my top three schools to go to. Now im being given the opportunity to go and to get out of living in the dorms. The bitch of this is that I need to decide soon so I can get my transfer in. I guess, from what Jake said, Andrea could get me a job up there at Home Depot, where they will pay for part of my schooling... and apartments are cheap (from what iv heard)...

... I guess its all still up in the air; could I move out now? Sure... Do I want to? That's what I need to figure out.

Went on a late night walk yesterday even though it was freezing out side. I wasn't really out to clear my head, because walking around town tends to make me think even more then I already do. But it is relaxing...

Im in a bit of a shitty mood right now. I feel like I have a lot of things I need to do today and I just don't wanna do them... well, I don't feel like I have a lot to do... I know I have a lot to do.
my day will go like this:

• work
• school; try to read articles for psych250, but blog and sit around instead
• interview with former high school teacher for a paper I have to write
• work again
• stay up late for no real reason even though im dead tired
• get up early for work again tomorrow (that's not today, but it adds to the stress)

so im in for a long day, and my Thursday will look just like today; I cant wait for that shit!

My weekend part 2 (sat. - sun.)

Saturday once I got home from the party I had to get right to work cleaning and rearranging my room (the basement). This took over 6 hours and I didn't even finish because I had to go to work. But Jake kept up with it while I was gone. Now there is a ton of room as opposed to it being cluttered as hell!

Saturday night I was supposed to go to a party with my friends Holly and Ryan, but neither one answered their phone so I just sat around for a while until a friend that I haven't talked to in months called me up and told me of a party. With nothing else to do and the urge to go drink and socialize I went... It was much better than Friday night. I got to see and talk to my old best friend, Rachel, for the first time in like 6 months. $5 for a cup and all the beer I could drink... Not too bad, and I took advantage of it!
I saw people that night that I haven't seen in years. I didn't let myself get as fucked up as the night before so I socialized and even talked to people who I would normally tell to go fuck themselves.

The party ended around 2 in the morning and everyone but me left... EVERYONE! Even the guy who was having the party. I crashed on the couch for about 3 hours until I got a call from Katrina who was locked out of her house. So at 5 in the morning I drove to her house and picked her up. I probably shouldn't have been driving, but I felt fine. We came back to my place and crashed for a couple hours. Then I had to sneak her out of the house while my dad was in the shower singing Irish drinking songs... It was interesting, to say the least.

Sunday I watched the last Harry Potter movie and went to WB with Jake, only to find that the music store was closed on Sundays.