Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Day two of college went a bit better than day one. Iv started to get the hang of this place a bit, but I still don't really care for it. I just want this semester to be over so I can go live in an apartment and not have to share a room.

I would imagine that dorm life would be similar to staying in a youth hostel. public restrooms, bunk-beds, loud annoying people across the hall who blare rap music at full volume while I'm trying to watch a movie.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

damn internal clock

My body work me up at 5 again this morning. I don't have class until 9:40 so what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Im typing really quite so I don't piss off/wake up my roommate who is still asleep.

So far real college has been just as boring as my old one. Iv been here a day now and still no action. It's not like the colleges you see in the movies or on TV. There are no groups of people playing hacky-sack or hippies or women walking around naked... I'm so disillusioned.

I have a whole day of economics classes to look forward to. Iv started thinking 'why am I wasting my life here? why don't I just move farther away, not go to college, and just live and have fun? I think this everyday and I'm constantly tempted to just pack my shit and drive up to Canada. Why Canada? Why not?

Monday, January 29, 2007

the new

Iv moved, finally. Currently I'm sitting in a tiny dorm room with nothing to do. In reality this is what Id be doing if I were still at home...

One thing I do kind of miss is work and now what I don't work anymore I can tell people what is was that I did. I was a hired hand on a dairy farm, yes, I milked cows... That is why I was up every day before sunrise and then back to work in the afternoon.

While I may not have liked doing the actually work, and I'm not a big fan of cattle I liked the job and my boss. I did it every fucking day so I'm just really used to it. This morning I instinctively woke up at 5 and couldn't fall back asleep...
I have a lot more to write about including my fucked up Saturday night but I'm starving and I think I need to shower...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

random song lyric

I have no solid political views. I haven't had nearly enough sex to be any sort of authority on the subject. I could talk about religion until I'm blue in the face, but I'd rather not.

For one more week I'll be considered a 'teenager'. After that I'll be in my 'twenties' and I'll be old and near death.

My wasted youth. It means even more to me now than ever. Lately Iv been looking back on the past few years, teen years, and realized that the title of this blog is more than fitting.

In high school I was working nearly full time hours and in college my hours were full time. I didn't know anyone else who worked as much as I did while going to school. I didn't go out to parties, I didn't go out on roadies, I didn't do a lot of things that people my age were doing.

I'm trying to think of where my youthful antics, or the lack there of, have gotten me. Sure, I have most of my college paid for out of my own pocket, Iv paid for my own car, most everything I own came from me. I don't owe anything to anyone and that's good I suppose. I hear that debit and be a really SOB.

I have missed out of the debauchery and fun that many of the people I went to school with experienced. I used to let this depress me, used to. Now, I take a look at where they are; some are high school dropouts, alcoholics, drug dealers, pot heads, coke addicts, some went to jail.

I may have wasted my youth, but their spent youth has wasted their future.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

fuck batman

(yea, that's me)
Shaz: Batman's sexier

me: fuck batman!!! superman would kick his ass to the fucking moon!!

Shaz: superman is just some freaky little orphan!
batman has to earn his powers, superman just gets them because our sun is a different colour!

me: and your point is....?
he still kicks ass

Shaz: and at least batman gets laid! superman is such a wimp he never goes for a girl
but he never gets any ass

batman isnt even a super hero cause there is nothing super about him
cause he would blow right through them

he's super conniving :p
maybe not

he's just a rich dude who thinks he's above the law

all rich ppl think that though, few of them wear capes and rapel around a city at night

me: but there isnt anything really special about him
spiderman, superman, the flash... they are all super heroes, but batman... he's a punk
ANYONE with some cash could be him

and yet he's the only one with cash who has become one... well except for the green arrow

me: cause of his haunted past... thats it
i dont see batman hittin' up the ladies either... no, he keeps a teenage boy at his side... weird

he hit's them up as bruce wayne

me: bruce wayne sleeps all days cause he dresses like a fairy and runs around at night

nah, he drinks more caffeine than i do
no sleep for my little batsy

but you at least agree that superman could kick his ass
and that while batman may be a hero, he's not a SUPERhero

he can, but Batman is still superior to Superman

me: never
the only thing that can kill superman is kryptonite, and its not like you can just go to the gas station and get some... oh, and what can kill batman.... EVERYTHING!

he's not stupid enough to fight crime without some protection :p

yea but put a gun to his face and boom, no more batman

O_O you bastard, no one could do that!!!
no one gets close enough

umm superman could... though he wouldnt need to
superman is faster than a fucking speeding bullet! he could totally do it

Shaz: but he won't
jackass won't even kill evil ppl, how could he kill batman?

he has gone bad before, superman 3 he went nuts
and red kryptonite makes him go bad
so yea, he could kill batman

could but never will

you need to stop living in denial shaz... batman sucks and you need to accept that

Shaz: i choose ignorance and crazy thank you
batman is the sex
him and that little utility belt of his... rawr

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


The only thing that's been on my mind lately is how soon I'll be moving. I can think of little else; except sex, but I'm 19 so that's a given.

I haven't packed a single thing yet. Not that there is a whole lot that needs packing. My computer, clothes, little things here and there, but all-n-all not a whole lot.

You taking your guitar with you?

Yea, I think so.

WHY!? You hardly play it anymore!

Yea, I know. But if I leave it here then you get to play it and Id rather it be with me and being unused than to let you have it.

Why do you have to be such a douche?

'Cause I'm your brother.

Friday, January 19, 2007

carry the zero

"Hey Toby, it's really cold out today. Wanna come in the house?"

Toby (wagging his tale and looking oh so excited):
Hell yea I wanna go in the house! It's all nice and warm in there and I can just lay around all day. You're great Nate! And to thank you I'm totally going to rub my ass half way across the living room floor and leave a nice dark shit streak for you to wash up later. Thanks pal!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

there it is

I found out who me roommate is going to be for the next semester. He likes sports and country music, two things that I cant stand. I cant tell from his facebook profile if he seems like a douche bag or not, then again Ill no doubt be the one who ends up being the bad roomy.

Now that I know exactly where Ill be staying next semester I wanna leave all the more.

When I had to choose what residency hall I wanted to life in I was sure to pick the three that had the largest populations but what do they give me? One of the smallest described as having a 'close-knit feel'. I don't want close-knit, I'm not sure if 'far-knit' is even a real term but that's what I want.

ah well... I guess I don't really care, just as long as it's not here.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

things you want to do

Looking over my upcoming class schedule I cant help but wonder "what the fuck am I thinking!?!" A communications course, a business course, TWO economics courses, and to top it all off a physics/astrology course which includes a 2 hour lab. It sounds fun right? Cant wait...

Some fat ass was having a fit at the optometrists' the other day. He was already there waiting to see the doc when I strolled in from out in the cold. After waiting for a few minutes I got to go in, it was just shy of my scheduled time. I get called in and this guy goes nuts because he has been waiting longer and he started bitching at the receptionist "WHAT IS THIS? I WANNA KNOW WHY TWO PEOPLE JUST WENT IN AHEAD OF ME!" What a fucking asshole, it wasn't her fault that he came way to early for his appointment. I wanted my appointment to last as long as it could just so that guy would have to wait even longer.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

as a matter of fact

I passed out early last night. This three hour napping in the middle of the day shit was starting to get old. It's never my intent to sleep for so long, yesterday I even moved my alarm clock to the other side of the room so I would have to get out of bed to turn it off. Unfortunately, this did not work.

I got up to turn that annoying alarm noise off then fell over right back into my bed and was out like a light... a light that had been turn off really really quickly, and not one of those florescent ones where once its off there is still a little glow to it for a bit, one of the older bulbs were as soon as the power is cut, its off... yea, out like that.
A couple friends of mine moved to New York this weekend. It was the smart move on their part, life here can be a real drag. We have nothing, no theater, no real stores, no place to rent movies, we don't even have a McDonald's and those things are fucking everywhere!

Just thinking about this place is making so glad that I too am moving. It's less than two weeks now until I'm out of here for good. No more uncomfortable run-ins with people I went to school with, no more adults who aren't my employer telling me what to do, and no more small town blues that lead people to believe that I am what's known as 'emo'.
If you live in New York you may eventually see one of these two sitting on the side of the road playing the guitar with a hat in front of them collecting the pocket-change of strangers; or possibly even a small club/cafe that has an open mic such as the photo above shows. If you do see them it would probably be best to throw some food in the hat or maybe even cigarettes would do. Just don't spit on them or call them hobos... unless they do something to deserve it of course.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I really do

[ Shaz ] Made by Gargamel. says:
yeah... i dunno how to end this

Nate says:

[ Shaz ] Made by Gargamel. says:
my blog isn't about fiction

Nate says:
i keep forgetting how funny you are... then you say things like that and it all comes roaring back to me

[ Shaz ] Made by Gargamel. says:

Friday, January 12, 2007


The cat just threw up by my shoes...

shake you from your sleep

I sat and watched the iTunes visualizer for about half an hour yesterday because I was that bored. It's actually quite fun, if you've never tried it I would totally recommend it. Although, I couldn't help but think If I had some nice drugs right now watching this would be a whole hell of a lot more fun!. But drug are 'bad', unless you're on vacation and you're just trying it out once to see what all the hype is about, then they're ok...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

who needs action when you got words

If an unseasonably warm winter mean an early warmer summer that causes an increase in the mosquito population then I say SO BE IT! Mosquitoes don't lie on the road and cause my car to slide into the ditch. That vindictive bitch known only as snow does. As long as we keep getting days where the temperature is above freezing then my enemy should stay dormant.

The good lord has blessed me with HORRIBLE eyesight. I had a follow up at the optometrist this afternoon and the guy mumbled EVERYTHING! I was about to punch him. SPEAK UP AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING CONTACTS!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

so much beauty in dirt

I ran into like FIFTY people I went to high school with last night at walmart. Well, it was more like three, but every time it would happen I would think just keep walking, maybe they didn't see me. Not that I didn't really want to stop and say hi but interactions with old friends can just be so awkward.

So what are you doing these days...?
How's school...?
Did you hear about so-and-so...?
blah blah blah yack yack yack
yea, I'm in school...

I just don't like doing that, I'm not one for small talk.

Then there is that awkward well I'm going to walk away from you now moment where you kind of pretend to be in a rush or that you're intensely looking for something on the shelves. Each of the three times I had to be the one who broke conversation, or the lack there of, and walked away,
"See ya later man..." I wont really see them later...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Iv got a truckers atlas

After awakening from my four hour mid-day nap to eat some lunch I'm totally ready do just get back under the covers and drift off while iTunes sings me to sleep. Normally I don't sleep during the day because it makes me feel really lazy but then I remember that I AM totally lazy and I do it anyways.

I only got three hours of sleep before having to go to work this morning. Some friends of mine are moving to New York in a few days and I hung out with them for a while drinking and playing pool, cause thats really all there is to do around here.

In less than three weeks now I'll be moved out and on my own. No more job getting me up at 5AM for me; no sir. Iv even been offered a place to stay once I'm kicked out of the dorms at the end of the semester.

I'm not very good at learning lessons. I saw my ex last night and just couldn't help but be an asshole to her (she deserved it...). I didn't make her cry though, so that's an improvement.

Monday, January 08, 2007

thought so hard it's the last thing I ever thought

"You should be a therapist," said the woman whose eyes were red from crying, "you're good at it."

It's not really something I'm proud of, but I'm very good at getting under people's skin and analyzing them, even after having just met them.

I felt like a total asshole for making her cry. There we were a 19 year old college student (me) and a 30 year old single mother who is working for her business degree and I made her cry after about 10 minutes. It wasn't my intention, I just like to debate but apparently I hit a nerve and the next thing I know she's bawling and her friends are yelling at me. Iv lost track of the number of people Iv made cry... but a few of them were emo so they cry all the time anyways and I don't really count them.

She actually thanked me for doing it and we were totally cool with each other. It was a 'well-needed cry'.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

*funny quote from last night that I was to drunk to remember*

My head is killing me.
I smell like strippers.
I'm broke.

It's rare that I go out and have a good time, but when I do, I FUCKING DO!
If you can't tell, that's midget porn on the TV. Not that we didn't see enough after 2 hours at the strip club or anything...

Right now I need a shower and some food, maybe both at the same time.

Friday, January 05, 2007

*funny movie quote*

There is no food in my house. We have condiments and bread. Condiment sandwich?

When I'm on break from school, as I am now, most of my day is filled up with walking around the house half naked and watching movies or listening to music. Sure, occasionally I watch some porn or something of that nature but that stuff gets old kind of quick... well, not too quick.

Iv taken up the hobby of sitting very still and staring into nothingness to pass the time. I do work full time, it's just my extracurricular life that's quite dull.
Is new years the only time of the year that it's appropriate to talk about balls dropping?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

bitter stain

Look at my eyes. Could I look/be any more fucked up? I want to go back on vacation and do that all over again, twice.

The Hold Steady, listen to them or you wont be cool. If you've read about my New Years Eve events you'll already know that I'm an authority on cool.

I drank a cup of the 'Calming' Yogi Tea this afternoon. It didn't relax me as much as I had hoped, or at all. "
time-tested Ayurvedic formula designed to ease stress and tension" MY ASS! I don't even know what the fuck Ayurvedic means! I must have skipped class the day we went over rubbish tea formula terminology.

Because I'm terribly immature I find the term 'tea bag' to be funny. And if I were for some reason having a conversation about tea I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face. But how often does an intense tea conversations break out? Probably a lot right...?

Sea Monkey exhibit

It came. My new computer. It makes my old computer look like something that this new one would shit out... if a computer could shit.

I keep forgetting that being on break sucks when you have nothing to do. During school I cant wait to get out and be on break then it comes and I realize that I was better off in school where I can keep myself occupied.

Hey, my toe stopped bleeding.

My boss's wife and I finally get along now after about 2 months of me constantly ignoring her and walking away as she tries to tell me things that I already know and have known for years. I think we're final cool with each other because we're both glad that I'm leaving in a few weeks and we wont have to put up with each other ever again.

I still have no clue what I'm going to do for work once I move. strip?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy New... oh whatever...

I know that everyone out there in the blogosphere is thinking "hmm, I wonder what Nate James did for New Years..." I know, it's a thrilling thought, so I'll fill you in on my excitement. I went to work New Years Eve, and when I came home I ate some french fries then went to bed. It's the most fun Iv had in a long time. I hope that satisfies your curiosity.

My toe is bleeding and it wont stop...