Wednesday, February 28, 2007

talented like a fox

I'm in dire need of a schedule book. Lately Iv been missing meeting and deadlines. I keep relying hoping that I just remember shit but then my ADD kicks in and I totally forget. For the past couple days Iv had the feeling in back of my mind that there is something I should be doing or somewhere that I need to be. Oh well.

Nicole introduced me to a new addiction... So Iv spent my time recently waiting for the slow dorm internet connection to download the episodes and it was worth the wait.

As I said long before I moved here, I was most likely going to start smoking again once I was all moved out. And as I said, I did. BUT Iv decided that as long as I'm smoking outside the bad things about cigarettes cancel with the good things about fresh air and all will be right with the world. I try not to smoke alone (smoking being a social function) but as long as I'm so much as on the phone with someone it counts.

For some time now Iv thought about sitting down and actually doing some real writing; book writing. What would it be about? It would really just be complete randomosity and stray ideas that pop into my head filled with words that aren't really words (such as randomosity, awkwardidity, and awesomonomy). I mean, how hard could it be to write a book? It's really just like a long blog post after all, and the only reason I don't write long blog posts is mainly because I tend to find really long posts tedious... as a matter of fact, this one is starting to get a bit long.
"Snow Blow" created by campus students here at my school
Photos of "Snow Blow" taken by my friend, Ryan.

(It's not really called "Snow Blow", that's just the humorous title I gave it.)

Monday, February 26, 2007


Most of my weekend was spent drinking and hanging out with my new friend Nicole. I spent more time at her apartment than I did in my dorm room (which is good because it sucks in here).

I passed out sitting upright on her couch and my neck was paying for it in the morning.

For the first time ever I played Halo, and it's even easier that I thought it would be, I kicked ass! Ok, no I didn't... I was horrible and she totally kicked my ass. Granted of course I had been drinking, but so had she.

Also her and I watched the greatest movie ever made by a moral. Mother Fucking Snakes on a Mother Fucking Plane!!! It was by far the single best piece of cinema that I have ever seen and I would recommend it to anyone.

And because she brought me TacoBell at 12:30 in the AM she is quickly advancing up my list of people who match my awesomidity (and thats pretty mother fucking awesome... (but not as awesome as snakes on a plane...))
Iv noticed that when ever I go up steps that I always take two at a time. Maybe it's a metaphor for me trying to move up in my life faster than steps will allow me to go. Mostly it's because taking things one step at a time can be tedious so it's best to skip a couple...

Friday, February 23, 2007

hello bed, it's me!

It was a little before nine last night when my phone rang. I hadn't planned on going to the club, I had no reason to go, no one to see, no one to dance with but unseen circumstances brought me there anyways.

My friend's truck broke down on the highway and it was my task as a friend to
'help a brotha out', and I did.

So I ended up at the club after all. I was tired and apparently red bull is really bullshit because I didn't feel energized, I didn't feel less tense, and I didn't grow any motha'fuckin' wings (the only real side affect that I hope worked).
I spent the night sitting at the bar (dry bar mind you... no alcohol) by myself. I could have danced but I wasn't up to it, plus most of the people there were kind of freaking me out. It was like they were on drugs but at the same time it was obvious that they weren't.

Nearing the end of the night a fight broke out between three guys so that was the highlight of excitement.

In order to park on campus after getting back my buddy called the cops to ensure I could park on the road over night without the risk of getting a ticket. It sounds simple enough, I could park on the 100 block of the road next to my building. Nice right? NO! the 100 block, as I found out at 2:30 this morning, is a little over a quarter mile from my building and campus in general. Nothing like a brisk (freezing fucking cold) walk at 2:30 in the AM to wake a guy up...
When I finally got in my bed and turned on some nice relaxing music (Matthew Good's Avalanche) I was dead tired.

Sleep never felt so good.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

give them what they want

My speech went the same as all those in my past. I got up and just rambled on and on until I was out of things to say. Some people did really well and I could tell that they practiced. Myself on the other hand did not. Most people read off their note cards, I barely glanced at mine. 80% of the shit that flew out of my mouth was made up on the spot so my cards didn't really help.

I did have some positives on my side. I got up there and was funny and charming. People were laughing not at me but at what I was saying, not that my subject was at all humorous but I tend to talk without thinking and this occasionally causes me to be witty.

The speech was supposed to be between 3 and 5 minutes and I was afraid that mine would be less than 2. I didn't rehearse it so I had no idea how long it was going to be. I ended up talking and joking for nearly 6 minutes, far longer than all the others. Unfortunately going over the time limit will be against my grade.

Before heading off to class I considered drinking some of the rum left over from To Catch A Predator night so I could at least be relaxed. Had I done that it's likely that I would have been up in front of class for 15 minutes and would have ended up talking about blogging.
The weather here has finally started warm up. Even though it's only slightly above freezing people are already walking around in shorts and sandals. I'm thinking about walking around naked for a while but I'm not exactly sure what the campus policy on that. I suppose I could just go for it and find out for myself.

The walls in my building may be thick concrete but the ceiling is paper thin. It rare that I hear any noise coming from the rooms next to me but the girls in the room above mine never seem to shut up. Giggling talking yelling laughing 24/7.

insert humor here

I was going to try and get to bed early last night but Shaz just had to get me hooked on MSN Messenger Solitaire.

In about 30 minutes I have to give the speech that I was supposed to give on Monday. And as I said on Monday I totally procrastinated these extra couple days and I'm still equally unprepared.

Last night was To Catch A Predator night which means that I drank too much rum for the middle of the week. Watching pedophiles get humiliated then sent to jail on TV is just so much funnier when drunk.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

we now know

Things I learned while making/consuming my cup of noodles
  1. don't take glasses of boiling water out of microwave with bare hands
  2. when pouring scolding hot water from one cup to another watch feet for excess spillage.
  3. wait 3 minutes means wait 3 minutes (patients is a virtue)
  4. my tongue in fact is not heat resistant
  5. carrots sink
  6. corn floats
Things I learned while writing about the things I learned while making/consuming my cup of noodles
  1. I couldn't spell tongue
  2. I need a life
*Edit* Things I learned after reading Christina's comment,
  1. I spelled patience wrong as well
  2. The English language sucks
Normally I would claim that I meant to do this. Not today...

Monday, February 19, 2007

shit luck

I was the last one assigned to speak. Anxiously almost obsessively I kept staring at the clock hoping for time to run out. Unprepared doesn't even begin to sum it up, I had no idea how I was going to pull off this horrible speech. I didn't rehearse it, I didn't reread it, I just prayed for it to be over.

I got my wish. The clock ran out moments before the last of us had to get up. So now I have two more days to procrastinate and I can be equally unprepared on Wednesday.
I helped with some in house remodeling this weekend back home. There is nothing more relaxing than taking a hammer and smashing a wall to bits while rocking out to the Stills.

The Decemberists tickets came the other day and I was staring at the date thinking why does something not feel right about this. As it turns out the concert is the same weekend that I'm supposed to be in Minneapolis for some marketing club outing.

Fuck Minneapolis I'm not missing that show. The way I see it, the marketing club will be there next year but the Decemberists, well, they only come around every so often. My priorities my be a bit off but I'm 20, what the fuck do I care?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

lol brb omg wtf tit gtg

I'm home for the weekend. After this I'll probably start spending my weekends sitting in my dorm room with a bottle of rum... kinda like a pirate but without an eye patch or poor grammar.

After a few months of monetary bad luck (car problems, computer problems, etc) I gave up on the thought that I would have enough funds to go on vacation this summer. Last year's trip to Winnipeg was a blast and the idea that it will be the only time I got the fuck out of this place before I graduate in 3 years really bum me the fuck out.

Last night I found out how much I'm getting back from all that cash I paid into my taxes this last year. It's enough to fund yet another voyage into the mysterious north (Canada). So, this summer I will most likely be making my way to Toronto for a week of friends and drinking and drunking.
He has Tourette's syndrome...

Friday, February 16, 2007

So do breasts

Girl at club: You know, cigarettes cause cancer.

Nate: So do breasts.
Yes, I went out to the club last night. I actually danced without the aid of any illicit substances. Although, before I left I took a bunch of rum shots, but their effect quickly wore off.

5 hours of dancing and my feet are killing me. I never dance, I don't even know how to but I did it.

Iv noticed that I used "I" a lot and it really bugs me, makes me feel self centered or something. Then again, I probably am.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Iv seriously been reading these for hours and laughing my ass off the whole time!

I should be working on my speech, cause I'm actually going to the club for Marti Gras night which is supposed to kick ass. This isn't one of those times where I say I'm going to the club then blog tomorrow about how I wussed out and stayed in to watch a movie by myself... god I hope this isn't one of those times.

So for that drinking ordeal I got into a couple weeks ago Iv been fined $50, have a write a paper on my life or some thing like that, AND meet with someone to discuss my goals and things like that... more on this later.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

let's not shit ourselves

Dear Mr. Shitface

You may think that taking a shit in our hall's public restroom and then not flushing is funny. And hey, maybe the first time you did it was funny in some disgusting way. But when I go to the restroom in the morning to shave, brush me teeth, etc. and I see that you did this I want to hit something; preferably your face.



I dropped my toothbrush on the restroom floor the other day and thought to myself,

"I wonder if something like this falls into the 'five second rule arena'".

I decided that it didn't and that was the end of that brush. You might call me anal but this is a men's pubic restroom and for those of you who have never been in one, feel fortunate.

I have a speech to give on Monday that I need to be prepared for by Friday. I don't even have a topic yet. I'm fucked.
To night is the marketing club bowling social and I'm actually going to it. It very unNate of me, I know. I wont be able to just sit in the corner and think loudly to myself. No, I'll actually have to converse with others and laugh and enjoy myself. I never do that...

Monday, February 12, 2007

the Lloyd

It's my brother Lloyd's birthday.
So Lloyd, just because I'll always be cooler than you doesn't mean that you're not cool. It just means that you're not as cool as me.
There is what I believe to be vomit in the urinal in the bathroom on my floor. It hasn't yet deterred me from taking a piss but it is rather disgusting. I may not be the most organized person in the world, in fact I'm a horrible slob, but I do like to keep things clean.
"The United Nations reported that 34,452 civilians were killed in 2006 alone in violence that has left Iraq battered and divided along sectarian lines." Yahoo News

I need to stop reading the news so early in the morning, it totally crushes my day.

Iv been daydreaming about getting cancer and dieing before I turn 23, I'm such a fuckin' upper sometimes.
In my mail the other day I got a letter from the university thinking that it was my citation for getting caught with alcohol in my dorm room, instead it was a pamphlet on suicide. I just laughed and tossed it out. I'm way to lazy to go through the hassle of offing myself. Besides there are more ways to kill yourself than there are dessert combinations at Culvers, and I can't even choose what toppings I want on my fucking ice cream...
Happy birthday Lloyd.

Friday, February 09, 2007

on a friday

My initial thought was 'drinking on a Thursday night? I have class in the morning...' Then I remember that this is college and there is a party everyday and that it's always a good time to drink so I ignored the part of my brain that was saying 'just stay in and watch Gilligan's Island' and agreed to go out.

The people on my floor may be really loud and obnoxious when I'm trying to read or silently watch porn but they're not that bad. Even though they didn't know me, they still were cool with drunkenly slamming on my door and asking me to come party with them.

It was like every other college town party Iv ever been to. A small cramped basement, uneven and cracked concrete floor, rafters that skimmed the top of my head, the smell of spilled beer and cigarettes seeping into my clothes. $5 for a cup that has no bottom. Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling and
a beer-pong table surrounded my loud drunks. College...
I could have gone to the club, I was supposed to go to the club, I should have went to the club... From what I hear I missed out by not going and today I'm kind of kicking myself for it.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

like a bowl of oranges

I was on college radio last night. Why? My buddy is the host and I'm fuckin' awesome, that's why! I got to talk about my blog and photography and etc. I must admit, at first I was a bit nervous and stuttery but after a while I relaxed and was my charming sexy self. Apparently the show I was on has a large audience consisting of many local prison inmates, so that's cool.
As for the club that I joined last night there wasn't as much socialization as I hoped. Not from me anyways, I did my usual thing of sitting quietly in the back of the room while people who actually knew each other conversed and have a decent time. At least I got out of my room for a little while.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

staple remover or cobra?

I just got back from my 'incident report meeting' about last Friday night. I could potentially have to do some alcohol workshop thing about the dangers of drinking and my goal in life, or something like that. I think it went over quite well. I was cute, polite, and honest. Cause really, I didn't do all that much wrong... so I think.

Everyone was telling me before-hand that the lady I to go see was a bitch. They were mistaken, she was actually really nice to me and not bitchy at all. Maybe I just bring out the best in people, but that would be contrary to my belief that I in fact bring out the worst in most people. Then again, I'm a pessimist...

Tonight I'm going to do something Iv never done before... I'm gonna go to a club meeting and socialize. I know, it's totally not me. Getting out there and meeting new people is something that I simply don't do. But from what I'm told being in 'out of class' activities (other than work and drinking) look really good on a resumé.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

rock my face off

Macro or Micro?

Guess who is going to see the Decemberists in April.


IT'S ME! I"M GOING! Yes, that's right for the second time now I'll be going to a Decemberists concert and for those of you who don't know of and/or have never listened to them you are totally missing out.

And if you're jealous it's ok because I would be too.

The last concert I went to was the Decemberists back in Oct '05. The one where my bitch of an ex girlfriend dumped me. Ah, but this time it there wont be any bitches to make the night hell, instead I'll be spending quality time with my brothers.

I'm fuckin' starving...

Monday, February 05, 2007

I'm old

Look closely at this unaltered photo I took of my dorm room ceiling... see the hidden image?
The things I notice when I'm hungover.
As of this last Saturday I'm no longer a teenager. No, instead I have become an old man who is near death. All my youth has been spent up and I have to start being an adult... yea right.

The way I see it, age doesn't mean a fucking thing. Unless you're talking about being THEN it means a lot; usually jail time...

It's about -25 degrees F out right now (which is ever colder if it were degrees C)... WITHOUT THE WIND!!! son-of-a-bitch I hate this weather. So I walked to my first class about 30 minutes ago. Now, my first class is all the way across campus, over a quarter mile walk. I get there and I'm absolutely freezing my nips off (and I was really fucking bundled up too!). I started heading up there stairs to go to the second floor when I pass someone else from the class:

"Hey, class is canceled, there's a note on the door..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! She (our professor) couldn't email us and save us the trip!? Son-of-a-bitch..."

So despite the harsh conditions I frigidly walked back to my room and here I sit an old man of twenty with nothing to do but blog.

Friday, February 02, 2007

super blow

Currently there are people on my floor running around shouting "FARVE'S STAYING!!!" Referring to Brett Farve, the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.

Now, anyone who knows me (next to no one) knows that I am in no way a sports enthusiast... especially when it comes to football. So I don't really see what the big fucking deal is. Maybe had the team had made it to the super bowl he be would worth something... but they didn't. Why would they want to keep an old fuck like him around when there is obviously someone out there who could do better? Because if he were in fact the best then the Packers would be playing in the super blow (yes, I know I said 'blow').

live in a song

If someone were to ask me on this very day how I like college, the appropriate answer would be "I don't". Yes, I know its only been a week, and yes, I know it will get better... but for right now its just a total drag and I feel like I'm totally wasted at this place.

Stats professor: "Alright now turn to the person next to you. This will be your stats buddy for the rest of the semester. You NEED a stats buddy!"

I looked to my right... then my left. Both people next to me looked the other way. I looked behind me. Nothing but a brick wall. I'm the only one in a class of about 40 without a stats buddy. I couldn't help but sit there and laugh to myself, these types of things happen a lot to me, I'm whats known as 'unapproachable'. AHHH, but little do most people know, math is a second language to me and that stats is pretty much algebra which is something I could do in my sleep. Fuck stats buddies...

I didn't go out to the club last night on account of that I would have had to stay until three in the morning... That would have amounted to about 4 hours of dancing, and not only dancing but dancing sober. That's something I couldn't do for even four minutes.

Tomorrow is my 20th birthday. Yes, I'm pretty much close to dieing now. So tonight I'm going out and getting hammered... who knows maybe I'll wake up from my inebriation to find that the last couple years of my life have been a dream and that I've been in a coma for the past 2 years... These are the things that I think about...

Thursday, February 01, 2007


When going to out for lunch or dinner here I try my best to avoid the rush of the tradition eating times. I feel a bit awkward when I go out to lunch and end up sitting all alone at a table surrounded by other tables filled with friends and being who seem to enjoy the company of others.

For someone who moved away to college so he could get out of his fucking "shell" I don't seem to be doing a very good job.

I may be going out to a club tonight that by buddy DJs at, of course due to our ridiculously high drinking age I wont be able to drink there... but there is nothing stopping me from getting trashed before I go.

happy birthday Kira


I'm getting pop-tart crumbs all over the place. They're not actual pop-tart brand pop-tarts. They're the much better generic brand that wal-mart sells and they're damn good!

I spent roughly 8 hours sitting in my room watching movies yesterday. This is what I came to college to do...? The people across the hall were having a party and their door would slam every 5 minutes or so. In retaliation of their loudidity I watched Mallrats and almost full volume. My antisocialness exists even here and wont likely fade... not that I would want it to. If I weren't antisocial I wouldn't be anything at all.