Ok. If I were stranded with the Skipper, Gilligan and the 7 castaways on Gilligan's Island I would totally have sex with Mary Ann over Ginger... Any fucking day!
Mary Ann is just the obvious choice. You can totally tell she would want it too. Yes, Ginger IS a slut and would be totally easy to get with. One word: 'herpes'. Ginger was a little too slutty during her Hollywood days if you ask me. And even though I'd stranded on a deserted island I still wouldn't want to get an STD.
But then again, im sure the Professor would find some sort of magic cure for herpes on the island and Gilligan would totally fuck it up by drinking it all and the cure would never reach back to the real world...
Instead of reading through my camera's manual to see what i can all do with it Iv just been playing around with the settings without actually knowing what the fuck in doing.
Went to see Clerks II last night (not alone)... It kicked ass and Rosario Dawson is totally fine! There is a new building going up at work and my boss's 5 year old son like to go watch the builder work and talk to his mouth off, as children his age tend to do. The other night i noticed that he was slumped over on the steps leading into his house; i thought he was just being weird. I found out the next morning that one of the worker putting up the building had called him a "stupid little shit" and told him to "go the hell away". The little guy looks up to these workers and this asshole had to go and figurativly knock him down. I was so angry when i heard this. Im not a violent person but had i been there when the guy said this i would have punched him in the mother-fuckin' jaw!! you do NOT say that shit to a little kid.
I haven't had a cigarette since the weekend and I don't really want one.
Today's three hour post-work nap kicked ass. But not just one ass, three asses.
I filled up my car for free at work today; nice. I really want to go see Clerks 2. I was about to ask a lady friend of mine to go the other day until I found out she has a boyfriend now. I cant go to a movie with a taken chick. How am I supposed to get any from a girl with a boyfriend? Oh well, I hope it doesn't make to too much of a loser to go to the cinema by myself.
Every few months or so for the last 5 years people have been telling me that "Iv changed". Mostly these people are my friends/ex-friends and they always say it as a negative. Such as:
"Nate you've changed, you're an asshole now."
"Nate you've changed, you used to be nice."
"Nate you've changed, you got your hair cut... and I don't like it."
I don't see change as a bad thing. Its a necessary thing in life. If we never changed we would be dull. Of course, I change and im still always dull, but that's besides the point here. I never see the change really until its pointed out to me, and I really don't think anyone can see there own changes on their own. I used to be a shy little kid who always kept him mouth shut and did was he was told without question. Now, im an out going smart-ass who never knows when to shut up and questions anything and everything. Some see this as my being an asshole, but I don't. I see it as me not giving a fuck anymore about what other think about me. If people don't like me for who I am then that's their problem. We all change and we all must adjust not only to our own changes but to those around us who change as well. New subject... You know what I realized last night while walking around town? I fucking love music. Im not even sure what about I love. The instruments, the vocals, the words themselves, or the whole thing mixed together. Music is something that is impossible to get sick of. Yes sure, a person can get sick of a type of music or a certain band or whatever... but never music in general. Is there anyone in the world who doesn't like music of any sort? Music dates back fathers than anyone can guess and even in the most remote parts of the world (that are only seen on National Geographic and shit like that) you can see people banging sticks on drums, shaking things up and making some fucked up vocals. Its beautiful... Except for country music. All country music must be burned if we ever want world peace. Thing about it, when did country music start coming around? WWII area maybe or even a little before that? And look, the US (which is the only place where country music runs fucking wild), since the mass introduction of country music, has been in some sort of major conflict/s all around the world. NO COUNTRY KNOW PEACE!!
I live next to a crazy old cat lady. On my way out last night I heard her yelling my name from her kitchen window. She came running up to me so she could give me 84 cents of Canadian pennies. Why? Because she heard I was going there for my vacation. What the fuck am I going to do with $ .84 in Canadian pennies?
This one time she trapped a stray cat in her garage. She wouldn't park her car in there for fear that this stray would run away. Its not like she was planning on keeping it. For some reason she doesn't think that a stray cat can survive on its own... even though that's what makes it stray. She's nuts...
So our little hick town carnival did so bad that they may never have it again. And if you ask me, its about fucking time our town did away with this thing. It's a total waste of money and makes us look horrible compared to surrounding communities. They put up a tent and hired a band for $200 to come and play... just a shitty cover band, but that's what all the little town fairs have. Anyways they spend $200 on this band and only 15 people showed up at $5 a head. 15 people on a Friday night!! How pathetic is that? Our town lost a lot of money, money that they could have given to me... When I first moved here, 11 years ago the fair was much larger with twice the rides and twice the games. Back then, they made money... now, they are fucking idiots.
I hate this fucking town that's actually going backwards. Every city around us is growing and bringing in industries and business are thriving. But here, its the opposite. Here the people in charge fear change and never let anything grow or try anything new. So now our town is dying... and good riddance.
When I left for work this morning I knew that when I got home I would no longer have a little sister. It was a sad thought indeed. Gift left for Thailand while I was working. Before heading off to work I made sure to swing by her room and talk to her. We said our good byes, hugged, and went our separate ways. When and if I'll ever see her again, im not sure; but I will miss her. I'll miss her food, the way she would say 'bish' cause she couldn't pronounce 'bitch', the way she would ask questions like what does 'douche' mean, and just her happy personality. Good bye Gift... On a 'damn-this-fucker-is-weird-note', I bought more shaving cream and finished my little project in my pants... Well, not little, but you know what im saying.
Im thinking about quitting smoking cigarettes once I get back from vacation. I smoked too much this weekend and I hate waking up with the taste of cigarette smoke in my mouth. It's not that im hooked on them or anything. Iv gone weeks with out a single smoke and with out the urge to have one. It's really just been something to do... But it's getting old.
I had a long night and yet im still awake. Yes, I actually went out and partied for once. I urinated off of roofs and smoked too many cigarettes. I got my car all full of mud and drove out to the middle of nowhere. I drank and had a massive headache by the end of my night. Sleep didn't come until about 3 this morning; and work followed 2 hours later. Oddly I felt fine and not the least bit tired.
I ran into my older brother's ex-girlfriend last night at one of the many places I ended up going to. It had been well over a year since iv last seen her. As it turns out she just got married and she's only a year older than me.... fucking kids these days. Am I the only one my age who sees that getting married this young is a bit rash or even foolish? I know I rant about this a lot, but I keep hearing new shit about people going to be parents or getting married at a very young age.
I had a very self-loathing morning today. It happens from time to time. My mind becomes too full and I cant just shut it off. I race through thoughts at blinding speeds and often many at one time. I hadn't eaten, and the little sleep I was able to get did nothing for me. Negativity filled up every pore of my insides and wad burning away in my mind. Im not sure what really triggered it. Nothing had changed from when I went to sleep to the point where I woke up feeling this indescribable emptiness somewhere deep down in me. Maybe it was something I dreamt about and didn't remember; something deep in my subconscious. I felt like putting my fist thought my car window just so my outside would feel as shitty as the inside. Fortunately for me, in not prone to such violent behaviors. No, instead I just snap at who ever happens to get in my way in some sort of attempt to relieve my depression by passing it on to someone else. But this tends to make me feel even worse.
Half way though the morning I snapped out of this little waking-depression-coma I was in and felt fine. It was left as mysteriously as it had came. Feeling better, I went out and took some photos... It relaxes me. Ok, on a much less serious note, and seeing is how im being oddly open today I have a bit of a funny story to tell. This morning when I got home from work I decided that I need to shave... and not just my face. I had never actually shaved my downstairs parts with an actually razor and shaving cream out of a fear that I would slice up something important, but iv grown quit comfortable with my shaving skills so I decided to give it a try. Anyways half way though im doing just fine but realize I need more shaving cream to finish the other half. I reach for the shaving cream only to find that it was all out... So now im walking around with my fun-stuff only half clean shaven. I didn't take any photos, but just enjoy the mental picture.
I hate the fact that so much money is taken out of my pay check each week to go into social security so that old people today can get money for doing nothing. The US social security program is totally fucked up! In theory im putting money into social security so that when im old and useless I can still get by on a social security check. In theory its nice, but it doesn't work. Too much money is being paid out to the elderly today so when the time comes for me to retire and kick up my feet the social security will have run dry and all that money that has been taken out of my pay check will never get back to me... The one who EARNED THAT FUCKING MONEY! NO, instead all that money goes to the old people of today. My boss's wife told me that her aunt gets $800 a month from social security! WHAT THE FUCK! Projections have shown that by the year 2040 there will be nothing left in social security... no wonder why. These old women are getting a lot of money (much much less than they ever put in themselves) to sit on there ass. When I was told this I went on a rant and my boss's wife was in total agreement, she wont see a dime of the money she puts in either. And THAT is fucking outrageous! After over seven months of being my little asian sister, Gift will be leaving us early Monday morning. She has become part of our family in that time and she'll be missed. Fortunately she's planning on going to college here in Wisconsin, so our paths may cross some time in the future.
To reiterate: US social security plan = bull shit. Gift leaving = sad.
What a night its been so far! I went out for a walk after work to take some photos and on my way back I walked by the park where our little hick town carnival is going to be this weekend. So I was walking by and I hear some music and went to check it out. There they were, nine black guy (or African Americans if you want me to be politically correct) sitting around playing craps and drinking beer. CARNIES!! With out really thinking about it I walked up and started hanging out with them. Now, where I live there isn't much diversity, there were no African Americans in my school, and very few live here, so I saw this as a chance to get... cultured.
'T': "Hey man you aint a cop are you?"
Nate: *takes a hit of his cigarette* "Do I look like a cop to you?"
'Big G' and 'T' tried teaching me craps, but I think they were cheating me out of my 2 dollars in quarters (or so one of the drunk ones tried to tell me). Yes those were their names... and here I am with a stupid little white boy name... psshh. A couple of them asked me if I had and pot or where they could get some around here, I had none.
Another white guy showed up and he must have pissed one of them off cause they almost got in a fight. I wanted too see it and get some pictures, but they made their peace... Oh well. I didn't get any pictures of my craps playing carnie experience unfortunately. I didn't just wanna whip out my camera and start taking pictures of all them.
Some local "film makers" are having a screening of their movie at our local city fair this week. I will not be attending, and there is nothing that can make me. For as long as iv known these guys iv always thought they were total douche bags, and that idea is continually renewed the more I hear of them or see them at parties. They are arrogant little pricks who get too much attention for the 'shit disguised as film' they call a movie... Douche bags. I hope no one who does go like the movie and even 'boo' it. Id go just to 'boo' but then I would be supporting the very thing im there to bash. Iv been using MSN much less as of late. Iv gotten bored with it. Occasionally I'll go on the talk to a couple other bloggers and my friend Moment but that's pretty much it; I don't talk to anyone from around here anymore or they don't talk to me... Either way, there is no talking going on. I explained who I am to Lloyd the other night. "It's not that people hate me, people just... 'nothing' me." Its true, to a point. My name or the thought of me doesn't really stimulate anyone either positively or negatively (mentally or otherwise)... To the people I went to high school with im just 'there'. I don't think people intentionally forget to call me when there is a party in town, its more that they don't even bother to think of me. Oddly enough, im ok with that, it doesn't bother me. This way im never enveloped in their stupid childish drama that seem to follow all the people who I used to be friends with and still occasionally see, and this is a VERY good thing.
So I finally got a new camera! It's a Canon PowerShot SD450 and it kicks ass! I love the fact that it's small enough to comfortably fit in my pocket and still takes awesome shots. Iv been told that Canons are awesome; I wasn't lied to. Along with getting the camera I bought an extra batters, a 512m card, and a 3 year warranty. So at this point im out quite a bit of money. But I didn't stop there, oh no, I went out and bought Photoshop as well; why not? All this shit plus my bus tickets and the DVDs iv been buying really adds up to me spending a lot of cash... Oh well, its all well worth it.
At least I was able to abstain myself from buying a new guitar today... I really wanted to get a 12 sting; I love how they sound.