Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The new cure

He's not retarded, he's just a fucking idiot.

I may have a bit of a sick mind, but only when it comes to things I would find hil-fucking-arious. For example:

At the club we have a lot of regulars. One in particular is one who is referred to as "Special Ed". He's the idiot. He's not retarded, just a fucking idiot. Too stupid to work but just stupid enough to collect money from the government.

Anyways Sp. Ed come to the door where me and another guy are working and announces that he has hemorrhoids and 3 pairs of blood underwear at home. (You didn't want to know that?? Well neither did I!!) I tell him that he's probably just on his period and congratulated him for finally becoming a women.

As started walking away I turn and announce: "Hey, you know what will cure your hemorrhoids? Just rub some IcyHot on the area, you'll be fine." I could barely get it out I started laughing so hard.

The other guy at the door kept the joke going by telling everyone else there that knew him to try and convince him to IcyHot his hemorrhoids away.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

It's really that hairy


I like space. Movies or shows that take place in space will always attract my attention. I like to be able to move around, space is good. I can be a bit claustrophobic sometimes so space can be my friend. I don't take up a lot of space, there isn't much of me to fill any large amount of space.

I like space.

There is only one type of space that I don't care for... MySpace!!

Frankly, myspace can lick my ball. I just logged on and went to a couple profiles when I came to this amazing conclusion. Songs that play automatically when you open a page annoy me (unless I enjoy the song...). But generally when I'm on my computer I'm listening to my own tunes. I don't want to go onto a page and have some beautiful music that iTunes is singing to me (usually Matt Good, The Decemberists, or Bright Eyes) interrupted and tainted with some rap bullshit.

Then, not only does a song play but there are three fucking country or rap music videos that start up as well.

All these fucking kids putting .gifs all over there page to make it cool decked out like its something out of MTV's pimp my ride or some shit like that don't seem to realize that while its cool to them, its fucking annoying for everyone else.

*Note... I tried to put the (rant) (/rant) in the usually html format (<>) but it totally didn't work...


cronohemorrhaging: the bleeding of time.

Iv been suffering from sever cronohemorrhaging. Late nights at the club and power-naps make my days all fucked up.

"Was that yesterday? I thought it was a fuckin' week ago already..." - A common phrase from someone suffering from a cronohemorrhage.

I helped Nic move back home this weekend so I'm currently recovering from my lack of weekend sleep.

Because I only work late at night Thursday through Sunday I have a lot of free time. One would that that free time kicks ass right? Wrong, I'm bored. So bored that I actually just clean and organized the bedroom.

Living at Nic's mom's means that our smoking has become covert for the time being. I don't mind too much, but every so often I just wanna step out for a smoke but I can't in fear of the ever watchful eye of my girlfriends mother. Not to make her out to be a hard ass. She has been very sweet and generous. Me living here was practically her idea to begin with.

I bought a grill the other day. Why? Cause grilling kicks ass that's why.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


I had my backpack on. She was on her cellphone. The line for food had extended outside the facilities door. I was done eating. She was waiting in line.

I made my was toward the door, the door she was standing in. She wasn't off to one side but right in the middle of the fucking doorway yapping on her cellphone. What is a guy to do? Well, because she was curious/smart enough to stand to one side or the other when occupying a doorway that is frequent for traffic I just plowed through the door allowing my shoulder and backpack to hit her.

Of course I didn't give her a faint/fake "Excuse me".... Excuse me? Excuse that bitch for being rude enough to stand in the middle of the doorway yapping on her fucking phone as others are trying to get out.

As I walked away totally proud of myself for running into her I hear her yell "Excuse me you fucking asshole!" this only boosted my 'pleased with myself' feeling as I walked away smiling.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


Where have I been? Here, there, school, work, bed. I had final this week. Not that that's my reason for not blogging, I never really study. Time has just been going by really quick lately.

Now that school is out and I'm only working on the weekends I'll have time to sit at my computer and hopefully blog.

Isn't it annoying when I don't blog for weeks then when I do all I talk about is how I haven't been blogging and my bullshit reasons for it? It pisses me off.
And now for a little recap of what I've been doing lately
  1. going out for sushi with Nic
  2. playing WoW
  3. working at the club
  4. sleeping during the day cause I don't get home until 3:30 in the AM
Last weekend was a bit rough. Some bad news was thrown into the air. But it's all ok now and not worth going into detail about.

Nearly everything that I own is stuffed into the back seat of my car right now. I'm this much *places thumb and indext finger roughly one inch apart* closer to being homeless.
School couldn't have gotten out any sooner. Just like when I was in high school and I hated high schoolers, Iv began to hate college students as well. I know that Nic and I are college students but that's different, we're fucking awesome.

When I go to lunch I don't want to hear how many goddamn lines from
Borat you've memorized and I don't want to hear about how drunk you got last night. These people are supposed to be adults?
A week from now and Nic and I will be living at her mom's temporarily until the whole house thing is in order. So that should be interesting.
Trinity gave me a hair cut last week and did a awesome job at it. Well done girl! And here I was thinking I couldn't look any better.

I'm not really that stuck up. I just like to pretend I am so. And I'm good at it... NO, GREAT AT IT!
There a new post! Happy?

...ugh, I gotta play WoW