made of ashes

Half way through the 90 minute test and the coffee had caught up with me. Five more essays to write and all I could think about is how badly I had to go to the bathroom. I asked to leave, I was denied. I didn't finish in the given amount of time but neither did most of the class. Looking back I wonder what the professor would have done if I would have just sat there and pissed myself.

A couple nights before my exams I went out to the bars with a couple of friends, one of which being my manager. I hadn't intended on drinking a lot so I went with the top shelf vodkas for the most part. Not a lot turned into too much before I knew it. By then end of the night I had burned a large hole in my wallet; figuratively speaking. It all paid off in the morning when I found out that high-end liquor doesn't cause hangovers, in fact I felt great in the morning.

For the past several weeks I've been in pain, but a good pain. I've started working out regularly with a friend of mine. We go to the fitness center 5-6 times a weeks for an hour each time. The first week killed me. Unlike my previous attempts to work out where little progress was made I can actually see and feel the effects this time. The friend who I work out with is a former college football player who knows the proper way to do all the exercises and also pushes me to go beyond my own limits. We rotate between upper and lower body workouts every other day. There were days I felt like walking across the room would kill me.

Odalisque

Her clothes left little to the imagination. Her heals allowed us to meet eye to eye. She dance for me as if there was no one else there. People were watching her, watching us, but it didn't matter. Looking as sexy as she was should have been a crime. She pressed herself on me, completely aware what she's doing. Others try to dance with her but she just walks back over by me. She pretends to trip in her heals so I catch her, it works. Someone this gorgeous should not be paying such attention to me. We met months ago. The only thing we have in common is a mutual lust, it's all we really need.

caring is creepy

It's weekends like this one that keep me going. I work nearly every weekend so unlike most college people I don't go out to parties or to the bars to get shit faced. It was an awesome weekend up at work because now that the manager is making the work schedules instead of the owners I get weekends behind the bar where the mad cash is.

08 has so far been a year of change for me. I've deleted some aspects from my past; people, habits, mentalities, etc. All were things I deemed bad for me either physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. In fact, it has been over a month now since my last cigarette and I've even been able to resists the urge to smoke when I'm out at the bars.

nude

School is in full swing again. To make up for semesters of slacking off I've loaded up on upper level classes all within my major.

• Social Ecology
• Collective Behaviors and Social Movements
• Rural Sociology
• Social Research
• Social Population Problems

It'll be an interesting few months.

My 21st went off without a hitch and from what I can actually remember from the night I had a blast. The last couple hours of the night never entered my consciousness. It's not one of those times where I have vague recollections of what transpired but instead I have absolutely no idea what happened. Where we went, what I drank, who I hit on, how I got home... other than what I've been told and photos from the night, I have no idea.

I woke up on my couch, my head pounding and stomach angry with me. My phone was ringing and beeping what seemed like miles away. I didn't bother to answer it or check my messages. I could barely keep my eyes open without the fear of my head exploding and making a mess all over our living room. All-n-all it was a good night.

21