The main point in bold

That's me roughly one year ago.

A lot had happened in one year.

Actually no, nothing really happened. But im not the same person and im not sure if I like who I have become.

I have been a fool about so many things. Iv put my trust in people who are not to be trusted. Iv let myself fall into a pit of self-loathing, crawled out, then fell back in again. Now im on the rim of the pit and im rocking back and forth wondering which way im going to fall.

Will I hit the ground and walk away or will I fall into the hole again?

I guess that's not even the question. The question I should be asking is whether or not I have any control over which way I fall.

Iv let my mind wander for too long and im afraid im going to get lost.

I hate it when I write serious posts. Im just having a shitty day because my car is fucked up and all the money I have that would be spent on fixing it is tied up in my moving away in January.

I need to move. There is no question about that. I cant stay around here any longer. Its staying here that has cause my depression in the first place. Its my house, my job, my everything. I need a totally new setup. What's depressing is that im comfortable where I am and I know I shouldn't be. I cant keep doing things just because they are convenient.

Maybe im just looking to become someone new all together.

The point of this post is for myself... I needed to see it. I needed to say it; if only to myself.